2015: The Year Of Progress

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21st Birthday 2015

2015 was one of the best years I've had so far. This was the year that I was able to establish and enjoy time with my true friends, and actually realise who they were. These were the friends that I actually went out the way to make time for despite knowing the friendship would remain without the effort, the ones that I would rather forgive and forget rather than to let anger and pride get between us. 2015 was the year I realised that sometimes part of the problems in your life and accepting these faults is the truest way to be happy. It's really easy to sit within a bubble and not take responsibility for the shit in your life. You can always come up with an argument as to why you are not in the wrong, why your feelings matter more, why it's not your fault. 2015 was the year I finally realised that sometimes you are wrong and its okay, and sometimes your right, and that's even more okay, but screaming it so people admit it isn't the way forward and to let things go will make you a happier person.

Birmingham 2015

Shelina's Birthday | Portsmouth 2015
2015 that I became an adult, well kinda. I managed to get a 2:1 at university and graduate despite many a moment when I thought my brain would combust and I'd be a drop out. I also spent 80% of my time at university at drunk or asleep so this really was an accomplishment. I also got a real life job, in London, in a role that I actually really enjoy. 2015 was also the birth year of this blog! I decided to use my social media and computer skills for something more productive and not only have enjoyed being a blogger but it also lead me to the job that I currently have. Now I look back I can't believe how lucky I am to have achieved so much in a year.

Got A First In My Dissertation
Graduation 2015

2015 had it's low points too, but they were necessary in order for me to learn more about life and what I want from it. I have suffered with anxiety my entire life but also am a very stubborn person so have never let me hold me back. Facing your fears every day can be so challenging and where I would rather stay in bed for days on end (which I have done many a time), I have gotten  up and done something terrifying like go to a job interview. I know everyone gets nervous before an interview, or as they call in "butterflies in your tummy" but the feeling I experience is not that of a delicate insect flapping but of crashing cannonballs.

This was the year that I felt my lowest in self esteem and my confidence hit rock bottom. I realised that despite everything that had gone so right this year, I was so unhappy with myself. At first I thought it was the fact that I was coming up to three years of being single (I know, it's so sad). However after binge watching Ru Paul's Drag Race repeatedly hearing the sacred words of "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else, can I get an Amen" I realised that the only love I was lacking in my life was that of myself.
Shelina and Amrit aka Pretty Gang

Squad | Three Musketeers 

Day 1 Brighton Friends

The biggest part of this problem was that alongside millions of females in the world, I didn't like what I saw when I look in the mirror. This was something that had been a long time coming and it took a lot of reflection to establish where I'd gone wrong.  I realise I had been very cliche about the whole thing, being in complete denial at first thinking that if I made less effort I would still feel good about myself, that my trousers didn't fit because they had shrunk, that I looked so big because I was bloated. The worst part of it all is that I am not particularly overweight, so people have absolutely no idea why I hate the way I look so much. It makes things so much harder as it removes motivation to work hard to achieve what I want. I did however progress out of the denial stage into contemplation stage where and am now at the stage of action. 2016 will be the year that I get out of bed half an hour early so that I look good to leave the house regardless of the occasion, that I will actually start training hard and eating well, and by this time next year I will be happy with myself (I've written it hear now so no going back!)

Now that it is 2016 I have a renewed level of motivation and am ready to start what I hope to be the year of commitment. After a year of quick progressions, I feel like now is the time to hit the pause button and spend time living in the moment improving everything I already have achieved. I hope to commit to blogging more this year, now that I have a brand new laptop that actually lets me write a post without crashing every five minutes. I will commit to my goals of achieving weight loss and becoming healthy and also wish to enjoy progressing in my career. Hopefully when I start to lose all motivation I can return to this post to remind myself what I have promised myself and hopefully this will help whoever is reading this also!

First Time Go Karting
Wireless 2015
Cousin's Wedding 2015
Sixth Form Friend Reunion - Christmas Nandos 2015
Work Shenanigans 2015

Work Girls Christmas Dinner 2015
Christmas Eve 2015

Boxing Day 2015
Sharm el Sheikh 2015
Last Day Living in Brighton
Woody | My Baby Boy

Goodbye 2015!

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1 comment:

  1. You've achieved so much in a such short time! Well done! Can't wait to see what you'll be up to in 2016! x